Breathless rush
From aching bones
Desires flood
Cavernous memories
Though my veins
Dreams in vain

Pulsing
To plead
To praise
To pray
To just

Perish
Revive
Relish
In Your hands

The Truth About Love

Before work I was sitting in the drive way, jamming and singing along to Pink’s The Truth About Love. Suddenly the garage door opens and our maintance guy pops out. Quickly, blushing, I turn my blasting tunes down. He tells me “No worries, keep rocking out”. So, naturally, I do. “True Love” comes on, and clearly, he’s listening too: ” ‘I wanna wrap my hands around your neck?’ I don’t think that’s love” he chuckles. I smile warmly, thinking “then you’re doing it wrong.” But then I’m single, so what do I know? 🙂

“It’s a Beautiful Day”

Softly singing to myself, I pranced through the darkened parking lot toward the grocery store one night after work. I pass a white work van, with a very large black guy looking out the window. He asks, looking kind of concerned “You okay? You need help? Wanna talk about it?” Giving him the ‘you’re nuts’ look back, I utter “nope” and continue on my bouncy way.  Once inside, I continue to my shopping, when it occurs me he probably thought I was talking to myself and in need of professional help. And though he was the large black guy in the windowless van, he was probably the one that was kind of afraid. And I laugh.

For the record, I was singing Michael Bublé’s “It’s a Beautiful Day”. Okay, so they’re may have been some hand gesturing (how could I not, given the song). It was likely louder than believed. It happens; I was in my own beautiful space.

When life gives way

When life gives you hell, take a deep breathe and keep moving. When it shows you it’s ulginess try to remember beauty and grace to keep smiling. When you think you can’t take anymore, embrace the tears flowing, and know it is not weakness.
Life’s rough. Get a helmet. And a cheeseburger.

Just Another Manic Monday

Overall a Good weekend: Friday: Junior Mints, “Star Wars”, and finished caughting up with the Doctor. (I swear I struggle with new companions more than new Doctors). Satuday: Play and Dick’s. Sunday: cooking, garlic, clams, and “Through the Wormhole” (dang I’ve missed the science channel).

I think the universe knew I’d need it before this week. I hate Mondays.

Sometimes I Wish:

That Ninja monkeys would show up and deep clean the house. All stealthily washing windows and moving furniture when they vacuum. I’m 100% sure “when [they] scrub the floor, they get the spaces in between”. (Though my luck, they’d totally do it while I was out.)

Chocolate and cheeseburgers, my top comfort foods, didn’t have calories (we should never discus how much Dick’s I eat in a month). Mmmm cheeseburgers. • That the moon was really made of cheese. Because as a friend once said : “cheese and love are basically the same thing.” Plus I’m sure we have made regular tours already. I’d put it on my “to do” list. (Though if that was an affordable option, I’d consider it now. And yes, I see that if it were cheese, that creates entirely different issues).

I had a pet dragon. No, I don’t know where I’d put him. Or how much it costs to feed each month. I’d venture a lot. Probably needs a specialty vet; at least one who handles reptiles. Still, entirely preferred to unicorn ownership, since I have no desire to clean up glitter, ever. (Confused? read: Farkles the Unicorn)

I was an elected civil servant (Probably House of Representatives. I currently qualify, and at this point six years still seems like a long time). I’m smart, charismatic, frugal, and fierce when it’s important. They’re paid way more than I require to live, so I could easily part with a decent portion (to charity or back to the budget or something… ) if I actually needed to take any payment at all (because if I could afford to be elected, I just might not). Plus I understand why it’s a conflict of interest to let a lobbyists pick up the tab for dinner. (But then again, never mind. I’d have to deal with the other members, who can’t seem to grasp concepts that kindergartners can handle, like sharing, working together, and listening.)

That I had a pet pig, in case of an “emergency”. I know pork to be tasty, as opposed to other, common household pets.

(To be continued, at random)

Just so it’s been said:

I don’t give a fuck if you respect me tomorrow. If you don’t, you’re a douche bag. If all you want is to fuck, say so. If you think you’re looking for more, say so. Let me in so I can make my choices based on reality. Either way, I do care whether or not I respect myself tomorrow.

Shadow

There has been a shadow about
Where I used to be
Present but without
Missing something

The occasional spark
A glimpse can be seen
I fight to keep the light
Fading so quickly

Exhaustion overwhelming
Only to run off again
never fully renewing
Before doing it all some more

And if this shadow approaches your door
Know this is temporary, necessary
Have patience, don’t write me off
Remind me of me

Left

I’ve made many a left turn in life. Right was there, but left looked more fun, or “interesting”. Sometimes I am fairly sure I’ve seen that tree before. I’ve definitely seen that sign. Yep, I did a loop; I’m back where I started.
I could lament my loops, but I’ve been reminded the same thing happens if you only turn right. I hold hope meandering my own route has taught me more than following the one set out for me.

And damn, if you’re going to make a mistake, you may as well make it a good one.

 

Helpful kitchen hint: when making croutons it’s best to remember you’re making croutons.

2013: Year of Rainbows